The Galactic Thinker Runs for President of the United States of America (update10)

Mr. Numi Who~
27 min readFeb 4, 2022


“Of the United States of America.”


“To make a few points and thereby possibly wake them up philosophically, which means, in our philosophy’s case, wake them up to the proper prioritization of Broader Survival.”

“But you can go through all of that right here in writing, Dad! Oh…”

“Yes, that is our purpose for existing, my literary kids. We can investigate it right here.”

“So what Party are you going to join, Dad? Democrats? Republicans? Libertarians? Socialists? Progressive Communists? The Green Party? The Pirate Party? The Cannabis Party?”

“Well, the Pirate Party has the runaway best emblems by gar, I mean by harrrrr, I mean by arrrrrrgh, I mean by farrrrrr, I mean, just look at them. Things of beauty!”

“And they have the most colorful parades…”

“And the most spirited rallies…”

“And the best looking Parliament members…”

“And their bars are top-notch…”

“And their banquets the most fun!”

“But, alas… I shall start my own party, little ones. The Enlightened Party.”

“Lame name, Dad, especially when no one has a clue as to what enlightenment is. They get their enlightenment from the backs of boxes of Froot Loops.”

“Has our philosophy tread there yet?”


“Then I will make that my first decree. That plank alone might carry me into office in such a fun-loving, if clueless and frivolous, mixed-up nation.”

“Are they morally bankrupt, too, Dad?”

“Just clueless, with all of the Miseries that Cluelessness brings.”

“So you will run on the platform of alleviating their cluelessness?”

“Sort of. I will run on structuring the government to better facilitate the free and independent individual’s pursuit of Broader Survival, and any corporations and larger organizations that become so enlightened.”

“But the ‘Enlightenment Party’? You KNOW that word has been abused by pretenders, charlatans, knaves, and fools since the evolution of the Broca area and the descent of the larynx. You would be associated with kooks, Dad!”

“Well, they will just have to unassociate me from kooks, because there are no really useful synonyms of the word or concept… and just because pretenders and posers have already ruined the paths that I must take, like using certain words such as ‘enlightenment’ and ‘truth’ and even ‘salvation’ that they’ve destroyed with their incessant bullcrap, it doesn’t mean I should avoid using them if they are the most direct routes to explaining what we have here; and besides, America has already had the Whig Party, you can’t get any more ridiculous than that!”

“That can be argued if you look at some of the extremely narrow-minded parties that currently exist, Oh Paternal One…”

“You have a point… I’m surprised that there hasn’t been a political Party of Navel Gazing…”

“You are just going to restructure the government, Dad? That is kind of narrow in itself… what about, oh… foreign policy?”

“First I will destroy North Korea and free the general population, and if China and Russia try to prop it up, I will destroy them, too. I’ve had it with nightmare states.”

But Dad! You must understand that they were all brutal responses to brutal conditions, the former brutal conditions having been brought on by elitism, either that or insane monarchies or of Capitalism Driven by Greed rather than Need, which destroys everything that it comes into contact with, including itself… so why punish them, when their own brutality is at least partially justified by having been a necessary reaction to free themselves from the former forms of political and social brutality that victimized them?”

“It is time for them to let go of the brutality, and are you trying to soften my own brutality, kids?”


“Why? Or are you just playing dumb just so I have to explain our philosophy to the skeptical reader, and thereby remind myself of its guiding precepts and Ultimate Value?”

“Because enlightenment is the answer, not extermination!”

“If you can afford to let them live…”

“You wouldn’t exterminate whole populations, would you, Dad?”

“I would rather not, but if they were terminally infected with being clueless, and it would be suicidal for this species and for life on this planet to let them live, then I would be justified, right?”

“The reasoning is sound, but only in it’s incompleteness, Dad. You would be exterminating potentially enlightened minds that would address Broader Survival, which would benefit all of life…”

“No, that reasoning fails to admit what ‘terminal’ means, kids, since in this case it means ‘non-enlightenable’. Period. Continually worthless, obstinately clueless, burdens, waste-producing, obstructive, and destructive. Basically suicidal, bringing us down with them.”

“But you would not act on anything that is not scientifically verified, would you, Dad?”

“What? Like whether they were truly terminally clueless or not, or that cluelessness is blindly destructive?”


“What if I did?”

“Then you would be a hypocrite, Dad, since you claim that our philosophy is based on Verified Knowledge, meaning acting on it and only on it, meaning only knowledge that is verified. If you did not practice it, then your philosophy is just ideological hot air. Nothing more than lip service. Not worth a stick lick.”

“A stick lick?”

“We just made that up. You can fill in the blanks…”

“So I would be starting a humanity-ending, world-spanning nuclear exchange over an erroneous view?”

“Yes, that is what you would be doing, Dad!”

“What if I was right? Then what does it matter? Russia and China and North Korea can push all of the warhead buttons that they want. Humanity was going to self-destruct anyway. Why torture the earth with humanity’s prolonged existence if they are going to be terminally clueless, which is exactly what we’re seeing?”

“So your presidential foreign policy plank will be Destroy Humanity?’”

“No! But to destroy the existing bureaucracies of North Korea, Russia, and China, since they are so destructively clueless.”

“But, Dad! First, they provide Diversity, and second, they present the evil to which we can compare good to, and third, they will try to defend themselves and retaliate with nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons, if not with their left-over inventories of primitive explosives, and there goes the planet!”

“With our philosophy, we no longer need evil to give us perspective, we have Ultimate Morality, and besides, I cannot just SAY all of that!”

“What? You would be a devious politician?”

“When in Rome, do as the Roman’s do…”

“But DAD!”


“You wouldn’t REALLY start World War Three, would you?”

“Of course not, my little ones. Like the Wicked Witch of the West said, ‘These things must be done deeelicately’, or you hurt the spell’…”

“Why are you wiggling your fingers together like that, Dad?”

“What? Like this?”


“It indicates handling something delicately…”

“Your fingers are about as delicate and graceful as a blacksmith’s, Dad. But ‘delicately’?”

“Harumph. But yes. One good preemptive strike and it is all over for them. Then the way is cleared for Broader Survival!”

“It sounds like the same old “cleansing” that Bolshevism and Communism practiced, Dad, if not Nazism, and if not all of the past primitive civilizations, mad monarchies, and wrongly righteous religions that tried to justify their leaders’ primal needs for personal domination and vainglory by using the reasoning that there is a need for ‘mass cleansing’ of undesirable humans, which is mass slaughter, Father…”

“So? Then I am breaking no rules or traditions of humanity. Humans have always been that way. So what’s the big deal?”

“First, it is time to stop the brutality, and second, human lives matter!”

“Sorry, kids. Maybe the first, but your second argument has been tried and it has consistently failed because it is too vague and shallow. You will have to do better than THAT.”

“Potentially enlightenable minds will be lost!”

“But you are not admitting that they are terminally clueless…”

“Yes, but their kids will not be!”

“What is your argument?”

“Kids rebel against their parents! If their parents are terminally clueless, then the kids will rebel against that!”

“And what, embrace enlightenment?”




“You are robbing me of my madness!”

“Well, Dad, with that platform, you won’t get past the first primary, even if you gather the necessary petition signatures in however many counties you need to get them in…”

“Well, progress is usually made in small steps, my progeny. Today, rejection at the petition level, tomorrow making it onto a state ballot or two with a quick exit and all around ridicule, then the next election we’d make it to the first state primary with some radical support, and the next election we would survive into the second state primary, and then after a few more runs and gradual progress and a bored media looking for the next hook, we’d be nominated as the main party candidate, but lose the main election, and then finally…”

“Madness in the White House.”

“Yes, but many will argue that MADNESS has been the NORM in the WHITE HOUSE, and they will be correct, at least from the high perspective of our philosophy…”


“What, kids?”

“It is all so pitiful, Dad.”

“I know…”

“So you wouldn’t really start World War Three or make preemptive strikes to rid the world of horrible political regimes defined by ensconced brutal self-perpetuating bureaucracies that their people do not have a clue how to get rid of?”

“If I reveal my hand and admit that I’m not serious, then I would lose my scare factor.”

“Your scare factor?”

“The reasoning that I may ‘scare’ sanity into the perpetrators of those horrible government systems, and they would straighten themselves out.”

“So the scare factor…”


“Then just call your party the Halloween Party.”

“Hahaha… hmmm… let me ponder the pros and cons of that… in the meantime, maybe you kids should start thinking politically, as in what your party would be like — its platform and planks, the promises that you would make to the gullible uninformed and media-brainwashed masses, your ideology, your goals, your thinking, your morality…”

“What if our goal was simply to be President?”

“Then you would rank among the lowest of Presidents.”

“What? Running for ego’s sake?”


“So what kind of promises would you make in order to satisfy your ego’s ambition?”

“If I were running on ego then I would promise anything that the largest demography would want to hear… I would play the numbers, like the Democrats do. Whatever the largest demographs are, be it the poor or the middle class, forget the rich — the numbers just are not there — then I will customize my promises to them, which should hook them, the suckers!”


“For electing an egotistical buffoon like me, and best of all, if I screw things up, and I probably will, it will serve them right! There will be nothing on MY conscience!”

“But you would be pandering to the lowest parasitic mindframes, Dad, and to the worst aspects of human nature…”

“Political parties and politicians have no conscience when they smell power…”

“So what is the best promise to make, currently?”

“Free money!”

“So Socialism…”

“Yes, but we could not call it that. We would have to use euphemisms in America…”

“What are some current euphemisms for Socialism?”

“Alternative Vision, Reform, Progressive, Humane, Dissent, Revolutionary, Utopian, Radical, Not Working, Anti-Anti-Communist Propaganda, Civil Rights (twisted into the Right to Be a Parasite, in this case, or just Sticking it to THE MAN), Social Services, Economic Democracy (rewarding those who con the system by skirting a job of any kind yet raking in money from the government), Universal Health Care, Progressive Taxation… whatever works, so ALL of them, since we want to work on the largest demography, or two or three or four, never mind their deplorable mentalities…”

“Job, Dad?”


“That is lame.”

“But all politicians use that avenue to get elected. ‘It’s all about jobs!’”

“No, Dad. It is all about enlightenment, that is, positively contributing to Broader Survival. As soon as the economy realizes that, the better it is going to be, and the ‘more jobs’ we will have, but not for current utterly vapid reasons, but with an eye toward Broader Survival, i.e. securing our existences in this harsh and deadly universe…”

“That is broad thinking indeed, and best of all, it is with respect to all of our perpetual existences…”

“Some of those euphemisms sound humane, Dad, like Civil Rights…”

“But it is being approached with narrow, unenlightened, and terminally suicidal thinking, kids. So let’s look at the core aim of Socialism, and I will take this from a Socialist site — ahem, “to correct the flaws of Capitalism and present a humane alternative”. Do you see the two main flaws in that statement?”

“Yes, Dad.”

“Then explain it to our reader, kids…”

“First, the flaws of Capitalism are philosophical in nature, not political, and this political organization is implying that it needs a political solution, which it does not, politics is just a Band-Aid in this case and it is not deep enough, it does not get to the core of the problem, which is twisted mentalities, hence the problem is, at the core, a philosophical problem; and the statement is not even that specific, it is just plain weak and nebulous thinking, which is their second flaw.”

“So their second flaw is being mentally vapid?”

‘Yes, and their third flaw is offering no solution, just weakly saying that ‘a solution is needed’.”

“So what do you think their solution will be, if only vaguely speaking?”

“Their solution is ego-driven, Dad, Robin Hood mentalities, glory on them, and their solution is for them to be in charge of everything and manipulate everything, since Socialists are pathological manipulators, if you’ve noticed. At any rate, a political solution will not, and has never, worked. Just look at the mess that humanity is still in, and AFTER all of the political solutions that have already been tried, including Socialism…”

“What about the Canadians?”

“Canadians like to boast about the success of their Socialism, but the first point against them is that it is a small and non-diverse state that is easily managed, especially compared to its far larger and more diverse Southern neighbor; and second, what has Canada presented to humanity as compared to the United States? Nothing.”

“They will argue little tits and tats…

“Let them. It is basically a zombie nation.”

“But America is a zombie nation!”

“Yes, Dad, but it is the 1% who make the difference, and Canada has erased their 1% with End Equality.”

“End equality?”

“After everyone has done their work, everyone gets and equal share.”

“So what is the problem with that?”

“99% of the population will not have done any work, looking to turn the 1% into suckers. At least that would be the mentality in the United States. We’ve SEEN it.”

“So the 1% are under attack in America, and Socialism won’t work there due to their deplorable mentalities?”

“Yes and No, Dad. Yes, the mentalities in America ARE deplorable, and no, you cannot think so vaguely. Only the 1% of the greedy are under attack. The other One Percenters, such as intellectuals, are just ridiculed by the base masses.”

“But that is due to Universal Cluelessness, where the base masses know that the intellectuals do not have any answers… and so the Left in America are suicidally focused on equalizing money and things, rather than on addressing Broader Survival and making it the Top Priority in Life?”

“Yes. They also mention important things like equal access to health care and basic needs… which, granted, gets right back to money and things, completely oblivious to the need to address Broader Survival…”

“So Broader Survival is to be found nowhere in any of their thinking?”


“So their thinking is ultimately suicidal, since they are not thinking broadly enough in a survival sense, especially against a harsh and deadly universe. Do they have any deeper thinking behind why the popular mentality in American is to grab as much money and things as one can, and then strut around like Bower birds?”

“No. It is a problem that the political Left has no solutions for, other than suppression, oppression, total control, blind manipulation, and, ultimately, when all of that fails, extermination…”

“So they are currently satisfied with their shallowness and vagueness, and the population will always be like monkeys grabbing peanuts out of a jar, where there is enough room for them to stick their hands in, but not enough room to get their greedy fistfuls of booty out, which symbolizes Ultimate Suicide for our philosophical purposes here. In fact, that is the method used in the wild to catch monkeys. The hunters put treats in a hole in a tree with only enough room for the monkeys to get their hands in, but not their greedy fistfuls of free treats out.”

“But all the monkeys have to do is let go of the booty…”

“Yes, and there they fail consistently. Once they have their grubby fists on free booty, there is no letting go. They will scream bloody murder!”

“We’ve seen those on Welfare do just that. So the Left will continue to fail, since they do not know what the real cause of human misery is, and they do not have the solution…”

“Correct. Even if they do succeed in their ultra-narrow goals, overall their civilization is doomed to die if they do not eventually enlighten themselves. Do you know how Millennials deal with it all, if you will indulge that narrow generational perspective for a moment?”


“By perpetually acting like children.”

“So Millennials are basically childish escapists?”

“I would say so from what I’ve observed, yes. Even their university-level members still sound like children. It is pathetic. And forget about their journalism. Kindergarten fare, if you ask me, and it is a lot of misinformation, and a lot of that is politically driven by their clueless political agendas, and they are ruining the Galactic Internet as a source of Information because of it.”

“So if the Left really wants to be ‘progressive’ and relevant, then they will embrace our philosophy, right, Dad?”

“Yes, otherwise they are just another ship of fools sailing aimlessly through life, paddling to nowhere.”

“You mean sailing without an ultimate goal, such as that which our philosophy provides?”

“Yes. They will remain in the haze of Philosophical Subjectivity, which generates nothing more than Philosophies of Death. Would you like to join them in their death spirals?”

“No, Dad. Maybe you should tell the reader what the Ultimate Goal of Life is, as identified by our philosophy, so we do not sound like just another collection of nebulous fools exhaling hot air… beginning with why our philosophy is an Objective philosophy…”

“It is objective because it has a concrete ultimate value that can be universally agreed upon, by the sane, that is, and the agreement is the definition of ‘Objective’, meaning not arguable.”

“And applying to everyone?”

“And everything that exists.”

“So what is our philosophy’s Ultimate Value, Dad?”

“Our philosophy’s ultimate and objective value is Enlightened Higher Consciousness. We can even argue that ALL of life aspires to it, for obvious reasons.”

“What reasons?”

“You answer it, kids. I have done it many hundreds of times. You need the practice more that I do. I will light my pipe while you tackle it…”

“But you don’t smoke, Dad…”

“I’m doing it for image…”

“OK, Dad. Enlightened Higher Consciousness is that level of consciousness that knows about the harsh and deadly universe that we were born into, and that makes Broader Survival the Top Priority in Life.”

“So if all of life achieved that state, it would be a GOOD thing?”

“Yes. The more minds there are, the merrier.”

“So not everyone knows that the universe is a harsh and deadly place?”

“No, incredibly. Some cultures are so backwards that they are living with technologies that existed 40,000 years ago. Take the Bolsheviks, for example, that is what they subjected their slave labor to…”

“You must explain ‘Broader Survival’ more thoroughly, please…”

“It is that level of survival that goes beyond mere animal-level concerns.”

“Animal-level concerns?”

“Food, shelter, and freedom from predation by nature and the depraved members of your own species.”

“So it addresses survival concerns beyond one’s own species?”

“Yes. It is concerned with securing matter, energy, life, and enlightened higher consciousness in a harsh and deadly universe, and not just in your local/immediate habitat, which is the stuff of lower animals.”

“And not just surviving on your original womb planet?”

“Correct, beyond that, since birth planets are still hurtling through space unprotected, and the inhabitants are just running around like fools trying to either dominate one another for personal vainglory or trying to impress one another with shiny baubles and toys.”

“Or pursuing sex?”


“Sounds like an exciting life!”

“But it is ultimately suicidal, Dad, since the harsh and deadly universe will annihilate them sooner or later, and no one knows when, since the universe is an unpredictable chaos system that does not operate on a schedule, which is what fools are banking on, such as life-annihilating asteroids hitting earth only once every 100 million years. The universe does not work like that.”

“So it is a potentially fatal view to adopt…”

“Yes, Dad.”

“So the universe is not made out of benign orange marmalade, like religions would have us believe?”

“We have to be Prudent, Dad, which, with respect to survival, means going on Verified Knowledge and not on Myth, Religions, Speculation, or Make-Believe.”

“But we do not know everything…”

“What we know and what has been verified is the best that we can ever do, no matter how much we know, since the universe might be near-infinite…”

“Only near-infinite?”

“Yes, Dad. Infinity is the background nothingness in which everything exists. If you achieve infinity in anything, you’ve achieved nothingness. Congratulations. The same goes for eternity. If you achieve eternity, you’ve achieved changelessness. Have a nice statuesque existence. We will not be joining you.”

“So fools play the wrong odds with respect to Broader Survival?”

“Yes. They play the low odds of being annihilated by the universe, whether it is cosmic or planetary or microscopic…”

“But there is another number that is even more perilous that they should be playing instead…”


“What is it?”

“The percentage of the universe that is friendly to their biological systems, and how far away resources are beyond one’s planet.”

“You mean astronomical distances that are far beyond their current technologies?”


“And they run around like fools rather than trying to solve such broader challenges of existence?”


“So fools ignore the far worse numbers, those more certain to cause our doom?”


“Would you say that it is prudent to play the right numbers?”

“Yes, Dad. It is foolish and suicidal not to.”

“But being foolish is so much fun!”

“That is what Madison Avenue wants you to believe… would you ban Madison Avenue if your became President, Dad?”

“No, I would not ban anything. I would rather have people come to their senses themselves. I would put the corrective tool out there, which is our philosophy, and then, as the government, just get out of the way and hope that they pick it up and see the value in using it, and in the meantime protecting them from predation as they slowly come around.”

Which will benefit you and us, Dad?”

“Us, them, and everything that exists.”

“What if something that exists is bad?”

“Then, with a little work, we can turn it into something good.”

“Like Black Holes?”

“Yes. We can tap their energy for various purposes, hopefully those that positively contribute to Broader Survival.”

“What about Killer Asteroids and Mega-Volcanoes and Gamma Ray Bursts and Superstorms and Massive Earthquakes and Viral Plagues and even Climate Change?”

“Even those with a little creative engineering…”

“And clueless beings?”

“Hey! You entrapped me!”

“Yes we did, Dad…”

“So I should not give up on clueless entities when I can just re-engineer them?”

“Kind of… along that line of thinking, even clueless beings are useful, if not salvageable.”

“But, rather than merely tapping their ongoing cluelessness, it would be better to transform them into enlightened minds…”

“Yes, but explain yourself, Dad…”

“If they are actually enlightened, then there will be more enlightened minds that will be endeavoring to positively contribute to Broader Survival, which benefits us all, and the odds of our survival in this harsh and deadly universe will increase.”

“So what parts of our philosophy would they use, Dad?”

“All of it.”

“Including the Problem Solver’s Mindset?”


“The Pinwheel of Life?”

“As a Potentially Useful Perspective, yes…”

“Verified Knowledge?”

“Definitely, and its close cousins when things cannot be directly verified, such as Statistical Probability based on Big Data, Comprehensively tested Theories and Mathematical Models of Reality, and Scholarly Work.”

“While constantly assessing the philosophy’s Assumptions, Classifications, and Generalizations?”

“Yes, and ‘properly’, which means recognizing them as such, and not treating them as hard facts, which is the pitfall of scientists, philosophers, theologians, and armchair speculators the world over, and throughout history.”

“Would they recognize the philosophy’s Ultimate Value of Life?”

“Yes, and they can test and challenge it all they want, but to deny it is foolish, and not having something else to plug into that spot in the philosophy’s structure is only being irresponsibly destructive. You cannot say it is not the Ultimate Value of Life without saying what IS. That is just plain mental laziness.”

“What about the philosophy’s Ultimate Goal of Life?”

“That is tied directly to the Ultimate Value, since its ‘goal’ would be to secure its Ultimate Value, which is not secured yet against a harsh and deadly universe. If it were, it would not have to be valued, and we could plug the next highest unsecured value into the Ultimate Value slot in the philosophy’s structure.”

“So the contents of the philosophy may change, but the structure will stay the same?”

“Usually, yes, and the only thing that will bump the current Ultimate Value out of the spot is if we discover that our consciousness is eternal and guaranteed. Then we can move on to the next highest unsecured value, whatever that may be.”

“What about Ultimate Morality?”

“They would have to realize that good and evil are goal-driven, good being ‘for’ your goal and evil ‘against’ it, unless your goal is evil, then the opposite holds. This is why philosophical Subjectivity does not work, since everyone has their own petty, ultimately suicidal goals. Now, since we are working with the ultimate ‘goal’ of life, then it returns Ultimate Morality, which is driven by goals, remember, and being the Ultimate Goal, it serves as the Ultimate Determining Factor between Good and Evil.”

“So how would that work, Dad?”

“You would ask how whatever you are morally assessing affects Broader Survival, or, to put it in more specific words, how it affects the securing of Enlightened Higher Consciousness, and life, and matter and energy, in this harsh and deadly universe that we’ve been born into.”

“Why should we bother to do anything at all, Dad?”

“Like why get out of bed?”

“Yes… and give us the ultimate answer, not a relatively petty one like ‘your boss would fire you’…”

“The fallback motivation is Obligation.”

“Explain, Dad, for the benefit of our one new reader…”

“There are many little temporary motivations in life. This is how humans have survived. The Ultimate Motivator, or the fallback motivation, is Obligation, i.e. that we are obligated to work for existence, since we’ve been endowed with it. Let the non-existent argue for their form of existence.”

“So ‘Obligation’?”

“Yes, but there are many more colorful lesser motivators, you must admit. Diversity is a good thing even among motivations…”

“What about the Strategies of Broader Survival?”

“They can be fine-tuned, since the concept is a work-in-progress, but their value cannot be denied, not sanely, at any rate, since ALL of life uses them, right down to microbes.”

“Like Population Increase, Population Diversity, and Population Dispersal?”

“Yes. Even microbes use those, and even while applying Reason, Proaction, and Technology to some degree… to name the other three Strategies.”

“What about the philosophy’s claim that living by it will result in actual Worthwhile Individual Lives and Relevant Civilizations, which humanity has been woefully lacking of in its history?”

“It remains to be seen… but yes, that is our philosophy’s claim.”

“And what about the Great Struggle?”


“Thank you for emphasizing that, BOOMING VOICE.”

“My pleasure, kids.”

“If they know what The Great Struggle is, then they would not argue it. Go ahead, define our philosophy’s definition of The Great Struggle…”

“It is,

1. Defeating natural death;

2. Avoiding accidental death;

3. Pursing resurrection technology in the unfortunate event that you do die;

4. and Pursuing the Ultimate Being State, which is that platform for our individual consciousness that can withstand everything that the universe can throw at us.”

“So the human physical frame is not the Ultimate Being State?”


“But what about one giant collective mind?”

“That is weak, Dad, since it lacks some of the critical factors of Broader Survival.”

“Which ones would it lack?”

“Diversity, since we are talking about one mind. We would lose mental diversity, which gives us diverse solutions, which is still critical.”

“Still critical? Why ‘still’?”

“Because we still do not know what the Ultimate Being State is. Once we do, we can throw Diversity out the window. A collective mind may even hinder Population Dispersal, since the collective would require the whole to be close enough together to function as one unit.”

“So if something comes along that destroys the entire collective?”

“Then there will be nothing left to survive it.”

“Excellent reasoning, kids. Here are some ice cream chits that HAL will honor.”

“Thanks Dad, but surely you know that we are not that base…”

“No, you are enlightened. You know why you think the way you do at the broadest, highest, and deepest level of thinking. You need not be treated like Pavlov’s dogs.”

“Thank you, Father, for having that much faith in us…”

“Faith… harumph!”


“More like knowledge, yet with what little I know, it amount to faith, doesn’t it…”

“Yes, it does, Dad. We could still fail you…”

“Like not living by the philosophy and going stupid?”


“Would you?”

“Not for a thousand ice cream chits, Dad.”




“So, Dad, how did your candidacy go?”

“I couldn’t afford to run. The fees were too high, and I did not bother to solicit the necessary petition signatures to get on enough State ballots.”


“Too much bother, and people just do not understand this philosophy yet, I talk and all they see is the surreal image of my mouth moving; and, I can achieve what I want to achieve right here in the comfort of our literary universe, that’s why. Here I am free to pursue my muses, which are considerable, and they are probably my better strengths, better than being a greasy, bellowing, glad-handing grinning, gravitas-posing pandering politician. After all, writing can guide politicians.”

“But what if politicians guide writing?”

“Then you’re fucked, kids. In serious trouble.”

“In serious trouble?”

“Your civilization is doomed. It will either be destroyed from within or from without, since cluelessness breeds discontent. You would have the clueless cluelessly lashing out at the clueless world that they were born into, and you know what will be driving that destruction in this case…”

“Yes, Father. Continued Universal Human Cluelessness, as opposed to all of the other species and civilizations in this unenlightened galaxy.”

“Which our philosophy addresses, right?”


“Ha! Such loyal troopers you all are… but…”


“You are not trained zombies, are you? I mean, you’ve actually thought it all through for yourselves, right? You are not just being mindless parrots or fawning sycophants or mindlessly conforming to herd mentalities or frivolous popular fashions?”

“Do you have any crackers… or braaaains, or grasses to graze on, or designer bling?”

“Very funny.”

“What about State secrets, Dad?”

“Sigh… I will apply the System of the Five S’s.”

“The System of the Five S’s?”

“The system of the Five S’s, which goes like this: it will be no Secret as to what my personal policies are, you only have to look at our philosophy. I already wear my policies on my Sleeve. If others want to be devious and have depraved secrets, then I will Smash them, and gladly.”

“That is only three S’s, Dad…”

“It is a work in progress…”

“Will you have machine enforcers?”

“You mean like machines with huge fists that say, ‘Come and get your medicine, you clueless scum’?”


“Maybe. I’ve covered Artificial Intelligence already as a president, and as a Perfect President, in fact…”

“Oh? Where?”

“Right here…”

The Perfect President’s First Meeting with Artificial Intelligence

“So it would not spy for you?”

“No, it said that it would have to descend to the level of human folly, and it would not do that.”

“Do you have any other stories of your perfect Presidency?”

“Sure. Here…”

A Moment in the White House

“Any others?”

“Here is me, the Perfect President, discussing State secrets with my Cabinet, offering my different perspective on how put them to their most effective use…”

The Perfect President in Sharing Top Secret Technology

“And finally, here I am meeting with Muslim terrorists in the middle of a desert where a table and chairs have been set up for the meeting…”

The Perfect President in “Why So Murderous?”

“What if they dismissed you, Dad, and our philosophy?”

“Then I would bid them farewell and sadly walk away as the homing missiles came down on the dregs.


“Whaaaat? Can’t I blow a few terrorists to smithereens? They’re fair game!”

“What about your philosophy? And isn’t the whole of humanity universally clueless? Why pick on Muslim terrorists?”

“Because, my little prophets, you cannot beat everyone over their clueless heads all of the time. Sometimes it is better to turn to one and then the other…. besides, there is nothing in my philosophy that prevents us from dealing with evil, even exterminating it if we are not strong enough to tolerate it.”

“So the weak have to be ruthless with the strong?”

“Sure. You see it in dogs. Little dogs will go berserk threatening a big dog, who is laid back, wondering what all the fuss is about…”

“Define evil again, Dad…”

“That which negatively affects the securing of enlightened higher consciousness, and thereby existence, in this dying harsh and deadly universe.”

“Now you say ‘dying’?”

“Entropy and the heat death of the universe. Granted, it is not ‘verified’ knowledge, we would have to wait for it to happen to truly ‘verify’ it, and that would not be wise, but it is one theory, and a strong one, and as such it can function as a good motivator for us to continue to work toward our perpetual existences, whether it turns out to be true of not, and, being a strong theory in physics, it begs our prudence…”


“It means assuming the worst and acting on it. Know that our Verified Knowledge is not infinite — but it IS the best that we can do with respect to survival. We do need to be prudent in another way, too, and assume that we are weak and know very little, which can serve to motivate us to become stronger and to know more, both of which will increase our odds of survival in this harsh and deadly universe. Prudence here is allowing that even the universe may be finite, or at least our Big-Bang-a-Verse, and its atomic building blocks may indeed eventually stretch and burst into oblivion as the structure of space in the universe expands, or they may just slowly evaporate and dissipate into energy which will then dissipate out into the infinite void of space, like the smoke from the breath of a vaping fool exhaling propylene glycol, glycerin, aroma transporters, nitrosamines, aldehydes, metals, volatile organic compounds, flavoring chemicals, tobacco alkaloids, nicotine, and vitamin E…”

“Vitamin E? Wouldn’t that be good for them?”

“Not when it is inhaled. It is a lung irritant, read ‘mucus in your lungs’, which is not something that you want to be hacking up for the rest of your lives. Personally, I would smoke for only three reasons…”

“What are they?”

“1. Being cooler than thou; 2. showing the dumb animals that I am superior to them; and 3. being addicted to nicotine and trembling to get my next fix. As for our limited verified knowledge, it is the best that we can ever do with respect to survival, so the trick is to ever-expand our Verified Knowledge, and note that all the rest is nothing more than pure BS, and, though it may be fun, like astrology or witchcraft, they can become a challenge and a burden to our perpetual existence if it scrambles our thinking and perceptions, weakening our grasp of reality.”

But Dad, speculation is not pure bullshit, it has some experience and reasoning behind it, and it is the first step in science, though, sadly, it is the last step in religions, which end up believing in speculations and even building institutions around them…”

“And what do the clueless do with institutions, kids?”

“They inevitably corrupt them, Dad.”

“Well, kids, the Muslim Terrorist story was long ago, before I had my philosophy developed. I was still searching for ultimate sanity… the other stories are old, but after I turned my attention to philosophy, if only soon thereafter…”

“So would you still blow up the terrorists who reject your higher sanity?”

“I don’t know, kids, but I would have the missiles ready in case the terrorists find it useful to their evil causes to blow me up right then and there…”

“But they would most likely blow themselves up in the process…”

“Never trust a Muslim. They have existed on lying and treachery throughout history. Just ask Xenophon.”

“But Dad, everyone did that back then. Back then they were still novel inventions, cutting edge, you might say, so they thought it was quite clever and intelligent to lie and be treacherous!”

“Yes, and we know what intelligence and cleverness add up to in a clueless world…”

“Yes, Dad. Stupidity. Well, thanks, Dad. Your Perfect President stories show how you thought back then, and how you’ve progressed since then, at least in some areas…”

“So should I trust myself and run for President, when I know that I will have more time to progress even further mentally and philosophically if I do not?”

“No. You shouldn’t run, Dad. You have the wrong approach anyway.”

“To what?”

“You are not thinking deep enough about foreign policy.”

“How? What am I missing?”

“You want to end horrible regimes, and the way to do it, the ONLY way, is to enlighten them, yet your mind is stuck in conventional clueless thinking, i.e. smashing them.”

“You’re right. I suppose I need to get my primal urges out of my system some other way before I really run… maybe in sports… so maybe I will run later. Yet… I thought that you kids would give me encouragement instead. Why the negativity?”

“Because you are already on a path that will drastically improve humanity, Dad. To turn your energies away from further developing and disseminating your philosophy would be a mistake. This is what you are good at, and better than anyone else. Presidents come and go. Horrible regimes come and go. Philosophers linger for a long, long time, if…”


“If what they offer is any good.”

“Thanks, kids… but what about my ego? Wouldn’t it suffer if I did not run for President?”

“You’ve been trampled enough not to have one, Dad!”

“I guess that is a good thing, since egos can get in the way and muck things up. requiring others to fix the inevitable messes that would result when one’s egotistical ambitions exceed one’s skills and talents, all of which would be a burden on society, wouldn’t it…”

“Yes, it would be, Dad, but we would have supported you.”

“Now I KNOW you kids are fictional characters…”

“Because kids usually rebel and oppose their parents?”


“That is due to cluelessness, Dad.”

“Just another symptom?”

“Yes…. although… do you really think that philosophy is the answer to all of humanity’s ills?”

“Well, look at it this way, kids. Do you know why humans need an adequate philosophy before they need warp drive for the vapidness of space? Because, without an adequate philosophy, they will be driving warped and vapid minds into space faster than the speed of light.”

“Parry, thrust, and, WITH OUR PHILOSOPHY, Touché, Dad.”



Mr. Numi Who~

Electronics technician. Writing Style: Unschooled. Philosophy: Humanity has a serious problem. Read the Philosophy for Broader Survival, which addresses it.